Bad Kitty

I'm posting the url of the Bad Kitty List so that I will never forget where it is. So that I will never feel that I alone have Bad Cats.

http://www.badpets.net/BadPets/BadKitty.html

I must go & re-read it ... wonder if anyone else's cats have invented a new sport, or changed their colour to white with the handy application of a full bag of flour, or possibly another cat somewhere also enjoys chewing potatos, cucumbers, bread & bananas ... oh yes, & tea bag boxes?

It is rather fortunate that they are able to make up for their bad ways in other more good ways. I'm just going to sit & think what those good ways are ....

Scavangers

I've been blaming the dog for stealing things. Blaming the dog only.

Now I just wonder if she has actually only been looking after things for me. Keeping them safe. Saving them from perforation by tiny teeth. Keeping them in one place. Helping me to find missing things.

I'm sure that she wasn't responsible for depositing a tub of aspirins, a candle tea-light & my son's razor in the cat's basket. Though for sure she had something to do with the tin of corned beef & my slipper that were keeping warm in beside her when I returned this evening. If she is only being helpful, I do wish that she had looked after the special tea bags (green tea & vanilla sounded wonderful) that I had bought.

I'm not sure that I am going to get to try the special tea. I can't help noticing that though it is still on the kitchen worktop where I left it (serves me right for not putting it away - though what difference that might have made as the monsters can get into the cupboards ...) it now has many tiny holes & there is a generous sprinkling of leaves around the packet.

At least, I suppose, tonight nobody raided the larder cupboard. I still shudder to remember how much mess one jar of yeast extract made - at least when they knocked that out of the cupboard they didn't also pour flour over the floor like they did the previous week.

I have bought some child locks. The one on the fridge works perfectly. No more chewed cucumbers, no more tongue marks in the butter, heaven. The one for the cupboard is not so good. It's bought but not fitted ... I can't work the child lock bit!

Maybe I'm just not feeding them enough.

The Discovery of a New Sport

It's a wonderful new sport .... I'll bet you'll even wonder why no-one has thought of it before.

It is **pause here for dramatic roll of drums **

MARMITE SKATING

(or, if Marmite don't really want to sponsor it)

YEAST EXTRACT SKATING

Here's the fundamentals:

• first spread a tiled surface thickly with a nice layer of yeast extract
• don a pair of flat bottomed slippers (furry ones are quite good)
• skate gracefully

There are some health & safety or cleanliness rules:

• the slippers should ideally be disposable
• do not, repeat, do not fall down
• keep all furry creatures away from the skating area

Finally, it is advisable to set up a permanent skating arena. Believe me, you do not want to have to be the one who cleans up the rink!